How to Fail as an Internal Auditor

Internal Auditor Failure Starts with Doing Stupid Sh!t

Challenge: Some internal auditors doom their careers before they even get them off the ground, because they find themselves doing stupid sh!t.

Challenge Solved: Do NOT do stupid sh!t.

Or, to put it another way: Internal auditor success is more about what internal auditors do NOT do.

Of course, there's some good that could come from doing stupid sh!t. As Mark Twain puts it: Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from making bad decisions.

Right on Mark. You'll get no argument from me. I’m just implying that you need to keep the stupid sh!t to an absolute minimum - and if you do stupid sh!t, don't do BIG dumb sh!t.

Our challenge is that often we get caught up in all of the things we think we need to do to achieve successful internal auditor career results, that we lose sight of one of The Internal Auditor Whisperer’s Rules of Internal Auditing: what NOT to do to be successful.

I'll let Einstein make the point for me: “a clever person solves a problem; a wise person avoids it”.

I can hear some of you saying to yourselves "this is so obvious".

Really? If it is so obvious, then why do so many internal auditors do it? You can see it on full display in the real world in general. Check your Twitter feed. It was also an epidemic during my internal audit career.

So, what do we mean by “stupid sh!t”?

Just focusing on internal auditing...

Here are some obvious things.

· Do NOT steal from your employer.

· Do NOT cheat on expense reports.

· Do NOT create fraudulent time reports.

· Do NOT engage in violations of company policy.

· Do NOT manufacture evidence or workpapers.

· Do NOT show up late.

· Do NOT break your word.

· Do NOT burn bridges.

· Do NOT send stupid emails.

· Etc.

However, stupid sh!t can also be things like:

· Do NOT piss off your audit manager.

· Do NOT piss off the audit executives.

· Do NOT say dumb crap in audit meetings.

· Do NOT act unprofessional.

· Do NOT harass others.

· Do NOT make dumb, offensive jokes.

· Do NOT be rude.

· Do NOT do stuff that your manager told you NOT to do.

· Etc.

And perhaps the biggest mistake we see currently is: posting dumb cr@p on social media. IF you do post on social media:

· Do NOT bad mouth your employer.

· Do NOT bad mouth your internal audit manager.

· Do NOT bad mouth other internal auditors.

· Do NOT post official information.

· Do NOT post images of you with convicts.

· Etc.

Bonus dumb a$$ activity: getting posted to someone else’s social media account, with you starring in a video:

· Driving like a maniac.

· Drunk and acting like a moron.

· Vandalizing a car.

· Telling your story of an alien abduction.

Etc.

I think you get the point. What you'll find is that the list of things to avoid, is much longer than you 'successful items' list.

So what can you do to avoid doing stupid sh!t?

Consider the following.

1. Think before you act.

2. Think before you decide.

3. Think before you open your mouth.

4. Think before you post.

Bottom line? Do NOT speak or act like a dumb a$$.

Check out our Newsletter “Secrets of Millionaire Internal Auditors — Mastering the Game of Internal Auditing & Getting Rich While Doing It” for street-smarts, in-the-trenches internal auditing hacks, techniques and strategies that you won’t get anywhere else.